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The Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher

Planet-F1 presents 'The Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher'.

As these have been hidden for a few years now, I'll start to publish the originals and hope P-F1 don't get too upset!

Disclaimer: I am not the author, but have archived these entries for posterity as I felt that they were so well written by "Michael Schumacher" for Planet-F1 (who have removed almost all of the originals from their website).

 


2002

  1. Tagebuch Eins
    At last we have found Gunther the tortoise!
  2. Tagebuch Zwei
    Like putting a bear in your fridge!
  3. Tagebuch Drei
    Heidi and her seven Schumis!
  4. Tagebuch Vier
    'For Sure It's Brazil vs Germany'
  5. Tagebuch Funf
    'Killing insects with a very large bat...?'
  6. Tagebuch Sechs
    'No sleep till Hockenheim'
  7. Tagebuch Sieben
    'Honestly, I am not scared of trees'
  8. Tagebuch Acht
    The Hungaroring is my bedroom.
  9. Tagebuch Neun
    A large howdy to my partners and buddies everywhere.
  10. Tagebuch Zehn
    Michael reveals the real reason why he finished second at the US Grand Prix.
  11. Tagebuch Elf
    Michael thinks it would be no fun getting stuck in a log cabin all winter with Kimi Raikkonen.
  12. Tagebuch Zwölf
    Michael is NOT pleased at some of the changes introduced by the F1 Commission. In fact, he's very angry...
  13. Tagebuch Dreizehn
    Michael is in an upbeat mood after finally pulling off the Swiss property deal that will see him become Farmer Schumacher.
  14. Tagebuch Vierzehn
    Michael reveals how he was inspired to script the latest Vodafone advert.
  15. Tagebuch Funfzehn
    Disaster at the Ferrari Christmas Party.

2003

  1. Tagebuch Sechzehn
    Schumi's New Year resolutions.
  2. Tagebuch Siebzehn
    It's a bittersweet return to F1 for Michael Schumacher as the World Champion experiences the joys of testing and the sadness of losing Eddie Irvine.
  3. Tagebuch Achtzehn
    Michael Schumacher has finally got his breath back after unveiling the shimmering, lustful creature that is the new Ferrari F-2003GA.
  4. Tagebuch Neunzehn
    Michael and Jean have worked out a system where team orders will not be required in 2003. But occasionally Rubens will be asked to go "to check-in desk No.28 to reclaim his lost luggage"...
  5. Tagebuch Zwanzig
    Michael reveals a passion for pasta.
  6. Tagebuch Ein Und Zwanzig
    Michael is worried he'll have to start grands prix behind Jarno Trulli on a regular basis.
  7. Tagebuch Zwei Und Zwanzig
    Michael thinks that he's seen crash-happy Fernando Alonso in some of his daughter's Disney videos...
  8. Tagebuch Drei Und Zwanzig
    Last year in Austria he was roasted by the fans, this year he was lightly sauteed in a high octane sauce.
  9. Tagebuch Vier Und Zwanzig
    Michael is expanding his comedy routine in 2003.
  10. Tagebuch Funf Und Zwanzig
    Hello my air honkingly noisy tifosi chums.
  11. if anyone has any information on the existence of part 26, please let me know!
  12. Tagebuch Sieben Und Zwanzig
    Hello my adoring tifosis.
  13. Tagebuch Acht Und Zwanzig
    Schumi explains that party and gives a season's worth of thank-yous.
  14. Tagebuch Neun Und Zwanzig
    Back for another instalment, Michael Schumacher's very own private(ish) thoughts...

2004

  1. Tagebuch Dreizig
    The latest exclusive contribution from the man who is more Formula 1 than Formula 1.
  2. Tagebuch Ein Und Dreizig
    Planet-F1 is proud to bring you the exclusive, unedited text from Michael Schumacher's secret diary.
  3. Tagebuch Zwei Und Dreizig
    Planet-F1 is proud to bring you the exclusive, unedited text from Michael Schumacher's (relatively) secret diary.
  4. Tagebuch Drei Und Dreizig
    Exclusive! Planet-F1 brings you the secret thoughts of the greatest driver ever to walk the planet and do a passable impersonation of Celine Dion into the bargain.
  5. Tagebuch Vier Und Dreizig
    The latest instalment in Planet-F1's exclusive insight into the inner mind of the greatest racing driver ever to strap himself into a Ferrari.
  6. Tagebuch Funf Und Dreizig
    Hello my gloriously schumescent tifosis.
  7. Tagebuch Sechs Und Dreizig
    Hello my wholesome yet fresh and fruity tifosi playthings.
  8. Tagebuch Sieben Und Dreizig
    Planet-F1 presents the secret diary of the World's greatest F1 driver and all round Uber-Sportsman, Herr Michael Schumacher.
  9. Tagebuch Acht Und Dreizig
    Hello my possibly underwhelmed but ever-loving and full of great anticipation tifosi.
  10. Tagebuch Neun Und Dreizig
    Almost Christmas greetings to you my adoring tifosi playthings.

2005

  1. Tagebuch Vierzig
    Schumi is back for 2005 and once again Planet-F1 has gained unprecedented access to the secret diary of the world's leading motorport exponent.
  2. Tagebuch Ein und Vierzig
    We bring you the latest entry in the revealing secret diary of the world's self-confessed best motorsport driver. This week we hear how he's a tough-but-fair father of two, why he won't be eating Hellmans mayonnaise and where he was grabbed on the beach by a Vodafone girl.
  3. Tagebuch Zwei und Vierzig
    Bahrain: Michael Schumacher reveals his innermost thoughts about the last race and his first failure to finish - for mechanical reasons - in 58 races. He also comments on "fatboy", "old greybeard" and gives the real reason Ferrari won't share their team radio with TV audiences.
  4. Tagebuch Drei und Vierzig
    It's post-Barcelona and Michael is not a happy bunny. But does he have any sympathy for Jenson Button and the BAR-Honda team...? Are Ferraris yellow?
  5. Tagebuch Vier und Vierzig
    USGP: Michael Schumacher gives us another insightful glimpse into events inside the Ferrari camp after their 1-2 triumph at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
  6. Tagebuch Funf und Vierzig
    Hungary: Planet-F1 brings you the secret diary of the World's greatest F1 driver as he bounces back in Budapest...
  7. Tagebuch Sechs und Vierzig
    Istanbul: In this, his secret diary, Planet-F1 readers can find out what really goes on behind that cool, detached exterior.
  8. Tagebuch Sieben und Vierzig
    Nov: Planet-F1 brings you the latest musings from the leading F1 driver of his generation, Michael Schumacher...
  9. Tagebuch Acht unt Vierzig
    Michael Schumacher's Christmas Message: Our Sekret Tagebuch contributor, Michael Schumacher, continues his series of exclusive revelations about Schumiwelt and the state of F1.

More to follow soon...


2010

He's back! Writing exclusively on Planet-F1, The Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher returned in January 2010.

  1. Tagebuch Ein und Sechzig
    Well, here we are. Quite honestly and obviously I never thought that this situation of returning to Formula 1 would happen for me. But as Sean Connery said in the famous James Bond movie, Never Say You Only Live Twice.
  2. Tagebuch Zwei und Sechzig
    Greets and greetings - you know here I am being tempted to write "tifosis" having done so for an incredible number of years, but quite honestly and obviously this is not appropriate now.
  3. Tagebuch Drei und Sechzig
    Hello once again my beloved blog fans. It is some while since I have been putting finger to keyboard and addressing my inner thoughts to you, but you know, quite honestly and obviously I think I have turned round a corner.
  4. Tagebuch Vier und Sechzig
    Michael Schumacher's been revealing his inner most thoughts about that tiny little incident at the Hungaroring.
  5. Tagebuch Funf und Sechzig
    Hello my little silver arrowlets. I am pleased to be reporting that I am still an F1 driver, in spite of what you may be reading elsewhere.
  6. Tagebuch Sechs und Sechzig
    So then, what a year we are having. There have been good moments and bad moments, but despite what any small Irish man may be saying to you I will be lining myself up in 2011.

2011

  1. Tagebuch Sieben Und Sechzig
    Hello to my loyal and much anticipating tifosis. You will be not surprised to learn that my gung-ho is at a maximum right now. Very soon action will commence in Melbourne on my second season at Mercedes and I am excited as a nerd kid trying to get into school early to do a lengthy and complicated experiment in the science labs.
  2. Tagebuch Acht und Sechzig: Petrov
    Schumi's keen to talk about his tyres, Kerry Catona and his new nemesis, Vitaly Petrov - and the insects he eats...
  3. Tagebuch Neun und Sechzig: Buttons!
    Michael reviews the season so far, asks why there are so many Italian names in F1 and reveals his constant nightmare...

2012

  1. Tagebuch Siebzig: This Is The End
    So my tifosis, as The Doors' Jim Morissette once sang: "This is the end, beautiful friend"...

2013

  1. Tagebuch Ein und Siebzig: Schumi's 2013 Plans
    What does the year hold in store for The Schum you may be questioning, now that I have parked my helmet for the final time...

 


Latest live part: 7 January 2013: 71 - Tagebuch Ein und Siebzig